Making Happy

Yes being happy starts with making ourselves happy. But sometimes making the other person happy is what gives us peace. What people don't understand is that some people draw their energy from them and that one moment when their motivation source shuts down, it becomes difficult for them to even exist. They give a sense of belonging to others. Like a guiding star. We feel lost without them. Broken as well. We don't need to renew ourselves. Just need them to pull us back and patch us together. Ofcourse it is not right to put everything in other person's hands, but sometimes that is exactly someone needs to receive and that is precisely what someone wants to give. Letting someone help us doesn't make you less in any way. All it does is empower us with an extra pack of subliminal energy. Everybody needs it!!

The Beginning!

What is it that changes your core? Some experience, some tragedy, some situation or some incident. Well, there is one more. A person! He unravels that side of you which you don't know about yourself. He answers the questions which you didn't ask. Over the years you develop yourself in a particular way and suddenly that one person walks into your life, unveils a new side of you. So when you look into that mirror you see someone new. Someone whom you might love or hate. I don't know what he gave me or what he took away but this is just too new for me. Beginnings are scary as hell and I know that the endings are sad, but I am hoping to embark on this new journey to know what happens in between these two. I always wanted to have someone who will look at me as if he is falling in love with me for the first time. I wanted someone who will laugh on my silliest of jokes. I wanted someone with whom I can share all my secrets and who wouldn't judge me. Someone who will make me feel that life has just begun! Well, one more revelation, that someone needn't always be your partner or husband. It can be a friend, best-friend. There are some relations which are closer than any other. You know that you love that person but like they say not all love stories get a happy ending. No confessions, only thoughts and realisations!!

Leaving a mark!

Some people come into your life to make it better, some come to make it worse. But some come and never leave, they stay in your heart. They stay as a hope or a dream. It's painful to see a hope turn into a dream which cannot come true. The long talks' memories haunt your nights even more. Mornings scare you because mirrors show you those hurting red eyes. This is the time when you cry in a crowd and laugh in loneliness. The lonesome laugh is a helpless cry, a cry that only you can hear. There are these times when you can feel the breaking of that little thread in your heart, never to be mended again. You feel incomplete if you smile. You feel naked when you laugh. Because these are the emotions which connected you to that person, the person who never left. They say you never know how strong you are until that is the only choice left. But they never understood that you may not want to be strong. May be you need that one person to make everything else go weak and insignificant. You need that person to fight for you and make it through the night like a dying lamp. You need that person to hold your hand tight and look you deep in the eye and say, 'not letting go!'

People Go.... Memories Don't!

There is always that one time when you fall in love with a person in just mere minutes of talking to them and you love yourself because of that feeling. You feel like looking at yourself the way they look at you. You want to see your own world with their eyes. But sometimes these people disappear in the moment and to never return. We feel heartbroken and shattered but you are still somewhere happy that it happened to you, that they happened to you! You have a lot of people who just come and go in your life which don't mean anything to you. Sometimes the people who are there in your life for years don't mean anything to you. But there is that one person who comes and never leaves. They don't leave from your heart, never from your soul. No matter what happens, nobody can make you forget them. Not the stars, the moon and the sun. It just hurts when something in far away universe decide your destiny. And something that was in your heart goes into a shell never to be broken. You feel a need to cry but you can't. You feel a need to scream at someone up there but you can't and that's destiny. You can write your destiny but you can't write your own feelings. That's the epitome of irony. We decide to smile for others but you can't smile even for yourself. Irony playing it hard with your feelings!

The Complicated Simple!

You feel a need to laugh, when you can't. You feel a need to express when you have to hide. You do something that makes you sad just because there is something pushing you to do it. My heart cries for something that was never mine. I feel homesick for a place I have never ever been to. I miss the laughaholic me. I miss being crazily in love with myself and with someone who would do weird things I did once.

I don’t have bones, I have curves. I don't have bruises, I have scars which I have earned and well deserved. I have a past, which has taught me a lot of things and has made me as strong. Some people love me for something and some hate for the same things. I have done well and I have made mistakes. I love curling in bed on a lazy day and not have a bath and only eat. I love working hard for getting the things I want in life. I am random and crazy and moody. 

But I am me. I don’t regret anything in my life. I don’t pretend to be someone I am not. I make no apologies for who I am. If I love you, I’ll do it with all my heart and soul into it. I won’t change the good me for anyone. I would do anything in the world for those people and will make them stay the last mile as well. 

What if you feel bad for a mistake you never made? What if someone judges you for something that you can't even think about doing? What if things get dark when you were just looking at the bright? You need answers. You need justifications. You need clarifications. But what if you are the only one left to do that?