Priorities...

Okay so what should you do when the decision you took keeping in mind someone's happiness and then realize they are not and will not do the same for you? Turn back the decision? Go down the same road? Or just stay there doing nothing and drown yourself in the pit of shame, disappointment and hurt?

Understanding myself!

The more we try to understand our feelings and emotions the more we get to learn new things our-self. We need to be very honest with our feelings. There is no great advice given by a friend, parent, guide, godmother anyone rather than your own heart. Honestly, I miss those days when I use to be on my own for my emotional needs. That was the time when I was all sorted out in my head. Since the time I am back with so called my people, it has increased the amount I get angry, sad, tensed, frustrated and a lot more for which I don't even have words. What is this? Why does this happen? If you love someone then living with them and living with their personalities should be so damn easy. Then why does it have to be so hard to manage these people who claim to be your best. Okay, so about friends. Those who are closer to you suddenly seem so far and those who just came along a few days back seem to be very much close. Does this happen to everyone or its just something that I am doing wrong here. I want to have someone with whom I can pour my heart out and tell all my secrets, my stories. That someone who will not judge me with my long stories and dirty secrets. People like it when we call them our friends but then what happens when that"friend" in them is needed. That time its all about how we are wrong and the expectations go way beyond limit. Trust! whom?why?when?how?!!!!!!

A Hearty Promise...

You will be in my heart,

Cuz you have made me your part...

For u, I promise,

I will never make you whine,

Just tell me one time,

You will be mine, till the last mile!

For u, I promise,

I will never make you lose,

Just say you will choose,

To be with me till our last blues!

Finding Myself...

Silent for too long was her way of looking at life. It just took a second for her life to crumble down. The distance made a awful sound with the words of pain flowing through her ears. And just like that her life was broken not knowing was it her or his feelings of that day. She was walking into a dark lane of loneliness with her blinded sight. She plead for an answer, answers that would make her believe in present. She was soaking wet by her own tears. Being drenched in them completely she could see herself naked from all the lies and hatred. She felt a acute ray of pain stabbing her through the chest and penetrated her deep into the memory lane. With no one on the side she was let to sink in more. All she needed was someone to tell her that she was the one. But that someone had a different world that was not permitting. Refraining from the reality was not the way. She was just waiting for some words with espousal. 

Winged...

She was flowing with the water and flying with the wind. She was taking it all in. Life keeping her hollow after all the pouring in uncertainties. The ups and downs were so deep that she was not able to understand how much to rise and how much to fall. Was letting go an option or holding it in one? The questions left unanswered makes her inhibitions more stronger. Does her needs and wishes mean anything to him? Does she not being there would change him? Life was showing her a strange way out of this. Her absence would do wonders was the one. Her non existence would make him change. But what is the use of doing all this when she would not be around to see him change, grow and emerge a new. What would all this pain mean if she has to leave without even knowing the outcome? Does her absence really mean this much.......??

Friendly touch.....strangely felt!!

With a soft voice, softer look and a softest touch he touched my hand. I was standing there with the broken pieces of my heart. But he was smiling, a smile that went from his to mine. He was looking right into my eye and was telling me to pick up my pieces and put them back together. I was trying striving hard to not let the pieces win over my protest. And the ultimate moment of win neared and got high up in the trance of the dapple. The stranger's look went deeper into my eyes and gave me the most amazing strength of standing up, up against my fears. He took my hand made me keep it on my heart and look into the sky...up high. I stared and stared but my sight was left dry and thirsty. With a wave of disappointment and anguish i looked back at the stranger...but he was gone. He was no where around to make me see again. I waited for him to come back.....come back and never leave again. But all i could recollect in my empty mind was his soft voice, softer look and the softest touch.........
Where he must have flown away...i thought to myself. Was he a illusion? Was he magic or just a fantasy? The doors in my mind were shutting down and i was running out of answers.....answers to all my questions. Who was he who showed me the best trick of my life if he was an illusion, the best prank of my life if he was magic and the best dream of my life if he was a fantasy....My ears kept searching for his voice, my eyes for his look and my hand for his touch...!