Contemplation...

So I thought I was doing the right thing. Atleast I had the satisfaction of taking my own decisions and shape things as I want. But then why the disappointment? Why the regret and why the fear of losing something beautiful that has happened to me. Who was real me now I wasn't sure. The strong confident person who was back then was that just a illusion or the sad, skeptic and uncertain person inside me right now is the victim of the situation? Questions!! My mind was twirling around the same fear over and over again. Was it telling me to overcome my fears? If it was then why is it so that I am still not able to figure somethings out. People say that deciding something for yourself is easy because you know yourself the best. Then why am I different these days. I used to be a girl who knew what she wanted. I used to be a girl with a stong will. I used to love myself for whatever I did. I used to be just ME! Disappearance of your real self is the most embarrasing thing. And the most shamefull moment is when you look in that small mirror somewhere and suddenly realize that this isn't the same person I was in love with. What to do and how to do it is the "question" we all have been dealing with. The same question pesters me day in and day out. How?? When?? What??!!!