Body-shaming myself!

Fat, fatso, elephant, baby hippo, and whatnot. The clothes in your age section at the mall don't fit, and the shoes in the gender section don't fit. You sit on the last bench at school because otherwise other students cannot pass through. You cannot sit on the swing at the park because, well, you are fat! All these were just till my primary schooling. The secondary school version of these comments blackened even further. As adolescence was catching up, kids started to judge each other for the choice of clothes, colors, and well ofcourse shapes. And the talk of the town is when a girl is fat, it directly means she is going to be forever alone.

I am one such girl,  born and brought up in a pretty secure, cozy family. Parents, unintentionally, imbibed the same thoughts in me. Get slim, or else you will be left alone. Friends (all slim and petite), started to have boyfriends and mini skirts. And here I was, struggling with the thigh chafing. Trying to find a solution to the underwear rashes and grandma arms. 

Well, even after such a fat childhood, I managed to gather up the confidence to get a boyfriend in college and somehow ended up being some kind of a sex magnet. Why? Because apparently, no matter what continent, most men want a thick girl in bed but a petite one in the living room. Enlightenment struck by the end of my 18th year. It seems, if you want to be desired, you better over-compensate by giving a lot more than what you receive. And that's exactly how my college years went by.

And here I stand today, with just a handful of non-judgemental people in my life where I feel secure, wanted, and empowered. Knowing, no matter what the world says, my mind matters more than my body. My intelligence trumps my libido. My dreams outdo my sexuality.

Although it was pretty late in life, I finally, and most importantly, proudly stopped body-shaming myself!  This is to all those women out there - Before everyone else, I think its time to first accept ourselves and stop body-shaming ourselves!